Your happiest feeling as a leader comes from this
First things first, you don’t have to the word ‘leader’ in your job title to be a leader.
But, if you’re in a leadership role, be it a team leader of 2 people or a CEO of thousands, here’s a thought below on how to take time to care for yourself and achieve a genuine high of happiness in your working life.
Added bonus - this tip will also work wonders in your personal life, too.
Leadership through compassion
Maybe, just maybe, some old school boomers in senior management believe that a clear distinction must be drawn between being nice and being a strong authoritative leader.
Stop right there, Sir!
The world has changed.
If this type of manager had not noticed the enormous number of articles in business media on the importance of empathy, then they should check out the hard data on the huge rising interest in empathy as a search term over the years, as you can see in the Google Trends image below.
And there were more than 2,000 scientific papers published in 2019 on research into empathy.
Clearly, society has a great interest in the more caring side of life… and the business world has sat up and noticed.
In a recent 2021 survey, 84% of CEOs stated that empathy is key to business success.
Obviously, being empathetic enough to put yourself in your customers’ shoes will only help your business.
But employees also have an increased awareness of its importance and an insistence on it being part of their working conditions.
In the same survey, 72% of employees believed that empathy drives their motivation.
Yet, only 1/4 of employees thought that there was sufficient empathy within their organisation.
Clearly, a lot of room for improvement then!
So, no matter how high, or low, your position is in management, to motivate your direct reports and team members and for them to have good levels of job satisfaction, it’s time to start thinking of yourself (and acting) as the Chief Empathy Officer.
Empathy vs Compassion
All this talk of empathy, but the subtitle mentioned compassion.
Let’s define the two.
Empathy is our ability to take the perspective, and feel the emotions, of another person.
Whereas, compassion takes it one step further and is when those empathetic feelings and thoughts include a genuine desire to help.
4 steps to being a more compassionate leader
Compassion, then, is wanting to help others.
Below are 4 ways to help your team that will make a big difference in their acceptance of you as a fellow human being of this marvellous planet… and increase their happiness.
1. ACTIVE LISTENING
Everyone likes to be heard, so make sure you’re letting the other person know that you are listening properly.
LISTEN CAREFULLY
Make a conscious effort to block out everything else bu this conversation right now. That way you will not only hear the words but, more importantly, the complete and deeper message being said and/or implied.
PAY ATTENTION
Give the speaker your undivided attention. Turn off your phone, or at least don’t react to notifications. Don’t hold your phone, like you’re ready to jump into action as soon as you get a ping. Look the person in the eye when they are talking to you.
SHOW THAT YOU’RE LISTENING
Use open body language to let the other person know you are an active participant in this conversation. Nod your head. Smile. Shake your head ‘no’ if there is a negative or shocking point that requires an agreement to that negativity at that moment. Give verbal utterances like ‘uh uh’, ‘yes’ etc that drive the speaker forward because they know you are interested and definitely listening.
SUMMARISE BACK
The listener’s role is to understand. Acknowledge that you have understood what is being said by summarising back what you have just heard. This paraphrasing opens up a chance for you to reflect on the other person’s opinions and feelings. These summary moments, maybe with some further questions from you, truly show that you care because you allowed time for them to express themselves, plus you understood at a deep enough level to be able to encapsulate their comments in brief.
HOLD BACK ON JUDGEMENT
Don’t interrupt the flow. Write down a note to come back to, if you need clarification on a particular point. Don’t be thinking of counter arguments as the person is speaking, as that is not true active listening. If you are thinking of reasons why the other person is wrong, you are definitely not listening and could easily miss important info or nuances of meaning.
RESPOND APPROPRIATELY
Can you solve everything immediately? Probably not, so don’t try to be super human and change their world. But, first option, as always, should be to be kind. Be honest. Be truthful. Be respectful. And if you promise to come back later with info, updates or feedback, then make sure you keep that promise.
2. WHAT IF IT WAS YOU?
If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you like to be treated.
How would you expect to be treated?
How would you feel if your boss was unexpectedly caring and understanding?
Ultimately, in every situation, treat others as you would expect to be treated yourself, in the best case scenario.
3. IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON?
Before getting into any communication, just give yourself a moment to reflect…
Could there be something else going on in this person’s working or personal life that may be playing a part in procedures?
Do they have a direct line or dotted line to some other boss that is pressuring them.
Have you politely enquired if everything is OK in their home life?
Are their children, friends and other family well?
If they need support, how can you help them? That is the dictionary definition of compassion, after all.
Just even receiving the offer of help, can make a huge difference to someone’s wellbeing.
4. SAY THANK YOU
Be grateful for how your team members are contributing to getting the work done.
Realise that without these people doing their jobs in your team, you would be nowhere.
A leader with no-one to lead, is just a worker :)
Be completely open with your gratitude.
Let your team be in no doubt whatsoever that you are genuinely thankful for their work, commitment and contributions.
The happiness you’ll get back
When you carry out the above steps in an authentic and consistent manner, you are clearly helping, caring openly demonstrating that you want other people to be happy.
Your team will definitely be happier when they benefit from your kindness and generosity.
You’ll see it in their faces.
You’ll hear it in the things they say.
You’ll feel it in the working environment… even through a laptop screen.
When you experience that increased happiness, you, in turn, will become happier… the latest scientific research proves it.
So to be a happy leader, help the people you lead to be happy first.
“The surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”
Here’s a feel-good advert (albeit a little bit schmaltzy) that shows that happiness comes from giving help any time you can.
Bet you can’t guess what company is being advertised, until it is revealed at the very end…
If you got some value from this article, you’ll probably enjoy our Creative Leadership course.
Also, check out The Happy Course and The Even Happier Course for even more tools and tips on living a happier more fulfilling life.
